everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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