is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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