you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
