Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize