It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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