I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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