Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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