I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
