Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
