I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
