What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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