Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
