is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
