I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
