My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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