Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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