you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
