Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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