Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
