Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
