Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
