How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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