Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
