as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
