How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Im part way to drunk.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
