i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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