party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
