Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
