worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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