The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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