And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
