My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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