how can u be prego again
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.