I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?