Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.