wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.