they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
