whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s