No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
