U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
