Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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