Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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