Small penises have feelings too.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
