if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm jealous of your bromance
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Vodka?
Forever.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
