hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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