I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
