Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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