I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
