I'm lost and stupid without you.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
