U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize