I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
