Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize