YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This is not my ceiling
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
