Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
