DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
