I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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