It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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