PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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